I'm in the Dog House. I'd gotten away pretty much
unscathed from the land mines I planted in last week’s "Truth" blog,
but inadvertently stepped on one this weekend. After finding out about Laura’s
friend, Hyesuk launched a full-scale Internet investigation and wasn’t all too
pleased with some of the information she was uncovering. It was probably wrong
of me not to let her know she was researching the wrong young man or let it go
on for so long, but I fell prey to free entertainment and was tempted by the
interesting story possibilities. Also, I really should learn to speak softly,
because Hyesuk never damaged her ears listening to loud music and overheard me
sharing the details of her Snipe Hunt on the phone with Laura. In an agitated
voice, she let me know, “When you turned 50, you suddenly became a gossipy old
woman. I liked you better when you could keep your mouth shut!" I had a glimmer
of hope when Hyesuk made me a boiled egg for breakfast this morning. However,
my brief optimism on an imminent parole vaporized when she casually informed me
she'd also given one to our dog Sam. I know where I’ll be spending the rest of
my day J
When I was visiting Mom several years ago, she gave me a portfolio of mementos she’d saved from my childhood. Reading this story over again today, I’m glad my teacher didn’t catch all my mistakes. As Laura and Bobby know quite well, getting a “B” or even a “B+” in grade school pretty much destroys your chances of ever being successful in life. ;) Most importantly, the fourth sentence clearly documents how I felt about dogs as an 8-year-old, “I was glad, because I liked dogs.” Today, I’d be reluctant to write such a controversial piece. Mentioning firearms would certainly result in counseling, if not suspension ;)
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| My Dog Penny |
I’ve
always had a strong attachment to dogs. Mom tells a story, from when I was very
little, where I was asked to pray at the dinner table.Before starting, I
contemplated out loud, “Well …what should I ask for? ...don’t need a dog,
already got one.” Even at a young age, I had a pretty good insight into the
more important things in life.I fondly remember chasing homemade boats (BB gun
in hand) with my dog Penny along an irrigation ditch near our home in Buena
Vista Colorado. While there might be some understandable, even though
misguided, disagreement with my siblings, I’m absolutely confident Penny was my
dog. I just shared her with the rest of the family.What parent wouldn’t want to
pass on the joy of canine companionship?What child can resist the suggestion
they need a dog?
It goes
without saying the two kids jumping up and down were on board, but convincing Hyesuk
her children required the unconditional love of a dog wasn’t as easy. A
military lifestyle makes keeping pets difficult and even the thought of dog
hair was at odds with her cultural obsession with household cleanliness.
Convincing her a little dog with short hair wouldn’t be a problem moved her a
little. Laura's pleading eyes closed the deal.
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|
My
favorite picture of Sam. Taken near Buena Vista Colorado
with My brother's dog Scooter during a cross-country camping vacation. |
Our
dog Sam turned 15 last December. He’s
almost completely deaf, blind in one eye, and as Bobby commented the Christmas before last, “I’m pretty sure Sam has some mental problems.” Otherwise, he’s still in pretty good shape
and seems to be happy (maybe the mental problems are a blessing). He’s only recently put on a little weight
(strangely parallels my own experience). We normally refrained from feeding him table
food as he was growing up, so he hasn’t fallen prey to the back problems many
dachshunds experience. He’ll still chase
down his tennis ball every opportunity I give him. In our sport, he doesn’t give up the ball
easily. He stands in front of me
growling until I forcibly remove the ball and give it another fling. The game used to end when I got tired of
throwing the ball and Sam would stride triumphantly over to his bed with the
prize. Now, he’s prone to claim his victory
long before I tire. Regardless, Sam always
wins.
I wish I could say
Sam was also my dog, but it wouldn’t be true.
Sam is Laura’s dog. He was the runt of the litter and was being picked
on by his brother when we went to choose our pet. Laura thought he needed her protection. She spent the most time with him. If Laura
was going outside, Sam was always welcome to go along. She was always affectionate to him. When Sam
needed scratched behind the ears, Laura was always willing to oblige. I also
have a strong suspicion Laura covertly violated Sam's "No Table Food"
restriction. I completely understand Sam's attachment to Laura, but I'm a little
confused over his complete devotion to Hyesuk.
My confidence over Sam being Laura's dog is equally matched
by a certainty Hyesuk is his nemesis. Her uncanny ability to control human
beings through sheer force of will has never worked with Sam. Both of my kids
know all to well the dreaded finger shake, the steely-eyed stare down and especially the crossed arms "Stop
that!" Interestedly enough, a complete lack
of success hasn’t hindered her in the slightest.
Sam has always liked sleeping on clothes, particularly Hyesuk's, and still goes to great lengths to satisfy his obsession. If anything is left remotely within his reach, he'll go to great lengths to gain possession. Even after all these years, Hyesuk thinks yelling at him will somehow dilute his fixation. Regardless of her tenacity, if she as so much leaves a shirt draped across a chair, Sam eventually takes ownership. Conversely, the battle of wills has only strengthened Sam's total commitment to her. Sam starts barking whenever I give Hyesuk a hug. If I shake her a little, Sam growls and nips at my ankles.
I'm certain when my kids see this picture; they'll stand up with hands on heads and gasp in total shock. They'll completely understand their Mom pulling a blanket over her head to avoid an early morning picture, but I'm certain they'll have a hard time believing Sam's presence on the bed (let alone under the blanket). Just to set the record straight, I didn't stage the photo. I didn't put the camera on a tripod and cover up my own face. Also, I don't even know how to use Photoshop. Bobby and Laura will just have to accept their Mom went soft on a cold day. I'm certain Sam was equally conflicted between enjoying the comfortable warmth and a lingering feeling of impending doom.
Most of our pictures are in storage and I couldn't find many pictures of Bobby and Sam (none of myself). Bobby's cousin Josh was the influence behind wearing his hat backwards.
Sam’s
record as a hunter has been remarkable.
While his diminutive size has limited his victims to the smaller variety;
mostly birds, mice, geckos and roaches, he's more than made up for it in quantity. Unfortunately,
he’s also removed Bobby’s parakeet and a visiting hamster (see http://kellykonecne.blogspot.kr/2012/03/save-jerry-tale-of-murder-canabilism.html )
from
their earthly existence. He was exceptionally adept at taking out the rather large variety roaches in Hawaii. Whenever, Hyesuk
encountered one, she’d yell “SAM, ROACH!” and he’d come running to take it
out. I’m sure her enthusiasm and praise encouraged
Sam’s common practice of delivering the prey he found and vanquished on his own to her feet.
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| A picture of Sam when he was still a minature dachshund. Unfortunately, pictures of Chocolate are all in storage |
In California
Bobby and Laura used to play a game they called "Bucket Heads." They'd walk around the house with buckets on their heads and a lunch box in hand. I never really understood why they carried lunch boxes, but I guess it makes just about as much sense as wearing the buckets. Unfortunately, the game usually ended in tears and little sympathy from their Mom. "What did you think was going to happen when you started walking around with buckets on your head?" You can tell Bobby has more experience. He's cautiously feeling his way around. On the other hand, Laura is confidently striding directly toward the blocks she dumped from her bucket earlier and a likely second place finish. For anyone considering turning us in to Child Protective Services, both kids are over 21 now and I'm fairly certain we're well beyond the statute of limitations. At first glance, this photo seems off topic. That is until you see the eery similarity in the next one.
Sam has his own game called, "anything that hits the floor belongs to me." Unfortunately, being on all fours and not having opposable thumbs seriously limits his ability to carry a lunch box. Please note that anyone considering turning me in to the Humane Society for running for the camera instead of immediately coming to his aid should probably reconsider. The event took place in Korea, well outside their jurisdiction, and where regrettably the distinction between pet and dinner is often blurred.
Hyesuk bought Sam a
heating pad last fall to keep him warm. She’s also relaxed the rules on table
food. I bought a case of hot dogs and every day when I arrive home he follows
me to the refrigerator and I give him half of one. The other day I came home and sat down on the
couch first. He almost went berserk
until I fulfilled my responsibility. I
guess you can teach an old dog. You just have to be loud and persistent.
Hyesuk's treatment of Sam is encouraging. While she seems to be mean today, someday she'll make sure I keep warm and let me eat anything I want to.
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| Very few dogs ever really master proper pillow usage |
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