How I Almost Didn’t Meet Your Mother – Part I

OH, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet,

Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God’s great Judgment Seat

- Rudyard Kipling



Both of our children are coming to visit us this Christmas.   I woke up this morning, anticipating the reunion, and thinking about a whole string of events making their homecoming possible.  This story begins with an impulsive decision made in 1983.

In November of 1983, I was struggling in life.  It wasn’t the toughest of times (I was actually living indoors), but on that day, I was a little disillusioned, a little tired, almost broke, and fairly cold.    I was walking the four miles home from my near-minimum-wage warehouse job.  I was on foot, because my car wasn’t running and I didn’t have the money to fix it.  At the halfway point of my trek home, I stopped by King Soopers grocery.  To this day, I remember everything I purchased.  My food for the week was going to be a gallon of milk, a box of cheerios, a loaf of bread, and five pounds of loss-leader bologna.  As I left the store, I noticed a military recruiting office in the same shopping complex.  On impulse, I stepped through the door, placed my bologna on the Air Force recruiter’s desk and asked, “Can you do better?”  The man smiled and said, “Yes, I believe we can.”   If I hadn’t joined the Air Force, I’d of never met your mother.

When I joined the Air Force, my intention was to only serve four years, finish college, save a little money, and then pick up on life exactly where I left off.  I worked hard, studied hard, and thoroughly enjoyed having a place to sleep and plenty to eat.  In my four-year tour, I’d been awarded two college degrees and had only a comprehensive examination left to complete a Masters degree.  I’d been living a thrifty life in a 19-foot travel trailer on the beach, and had saved almost all of my pay.   My plan was to buy an isolated piece of land in the woods out west and live a comfortable solitary life in the trailer while I built a cabin.   I was within two weeks of separating from the Air Force, when I was notified that I’d been selected for a remote tour in Korea.   Several months earlier, I’d volunteered on a whim for every possible assignment in the world.

*Many years later, I received a phone call from a young Airman asking for help acquiring an assignment to Korea.  I told him to put in a request.  I was amused when I received an email from him expressing gratitude after he was given his tour.   Advising him to volunteer was all I’d done.

 If I’d been told the day before, and probably the day after, I don’t think I’d of extended my service for another year.  If I hadn’t gone to Korea, I’d of never met your mother.

I’d only been in Korea a few days when my supervisor, Master Sergeant Vern Carpenter, invited me over to his home.  I remember the date, 30 April 1988, because it fell on my Mom’s birthday.  What Vern hadn’t told me was his wife had a friend she was inviting and I was unknowingly being set up on a blind date.   If I’d of caught even the slightest hint of what was going on, I’m absolutely certain I’d of graciously declined.   I was a committed bachelor, who’d successfully avoided dating for six years.  Mom’s way of putting it was, “Kelly isn’t looking, and there aren’t many young women looking for the sort of life he’s offering anyway.” I had a plan and wasn’t looking to complicate my peaceful existence.  If I’d of known a trap was being set, my Mom would’ve only received a card and a phone call for her birthday.

Vern and I were sitting on the couch watching TV, when an attractive young girl arrived at the door and sat down at the kitchen table with Mrs. Carpenter.  After a few minutes, Ms Pak (Korean women don’t give up their maiden name) told me to come over and join them at the table to eat some fruit.  The conversation started out innocently enough.  Ms Pak began by asking me general questions like:

      Do you like Korea? – Yes
      Where are you from? – Colorado
      How long have you been in the Air Force? – four years
      Do you have any brothers and sisters? –Yes, one brother and two sisters
      …

It didn’t take long before I started feeling like I was involved in an interview.  The questions started to get more pointed and personal:

      What’s your religion?  – Christian
      Do you go to church?  – Occasionally (rarely would’ve been more accurate)
      What is your blood type?  A+ (I’m not kidding about this question)
      Are you married? – No
      Have you ever been married? – No
      Do you have any children?  – No
      Do you have a girlfriend? – No
      …

By this time, I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.  Embarrassed, I stole a few sideways glances at Hyesuk who was calmly listening to my answers and intently reading my face.  The “clue” bird had landed.  I mumbled a lame excuse for leaving and quickly bolted for the door.

The following Monday I tried to give Vern a hard time for not warning me about his wife’s scheme.   Vern, who sounded like, looked like, and often acted like W.C. Fields bypassed any discussion on the subject with, “Son, you obviously don’t understand Korean women.”  Later that morning, Ms Pak showed up at the office.  She barely spent ten seconds talking to her husband, before taking the chair next to my desk and renewing her interrogation.  She easily extracted a confession from me that Hyesuk seemed like a nice person and was indeed very pretty.  She profusely apologized for making me uncomfortable earlier, and let me know it’d hurt her feelings terribly if I didn’t give her an opportunity to make things right.   Vern smiled at me as his wife headed out the door.  I’d agreed to meet Hyesuk Friday night at their house for dinner.

Still a little apprehensive, I arrived at Vern’s home on time.   At this point, I actually wanted to be there.  Thoughts of getting to know Hyesuk and spending some time with her were starting to fill my head.  I took a seat on the couch with Vern again, but this time the pretty girl didn’t show.  As an hour went by, I was convinced Hyesuk had enacted her revenge and any opportunity had already passed.  I was both disappointed and relieved as we went ahead and ate dinner.  I’m still unsure if it was part of an elaborate conspiracy or just impeccable timing, but as I stepped out the door to leave, Hyesuk was walking up the steps.  I’d never of known that she’d been delayed at an office function if I’d of left a little earlier or if she’d arrived a little later.  Ms Pak’s suggestion I walk Hyesuk home was a welcome invitation.

As a bus pulled up to the bus stop, I removed a couple of coins to pay the fare.  Hyesuk told me to wait.  A free bus would be arriving in a few minutes.  Some of my family members, Aunt Betty for example, likely think the deal was closed at that very moment.  Since it is part of the story, there may be something to it.  When we reached her neighborhood, we didn’t go directly to her home.  We wandered around talking and getting to know each other.  When we eventually reached her door, she candidly informed me that while she had several perfectly good options, I was being seriously considered.  She then leaned forward, put her hand on my chest as she stepped closer, looked directly into my heart and asked in a soft sweet voice, “Are you interested in me?”  I evaded directly answering her question by asking her out on another date.  It took me a long time to make it back to my dorm room.  I wandered around the neighborhood in a daze, neither remembering how I got there or even the right direction to head back to the Air Base.